|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| my xanga is dying because i have a secret blog. hahahha. | | |
| We sat outside Yogurtland on the green plastic chairs slowly savoring the cool sweet yogurt melt on our tongues. I forget who brought it up but before we knew it we were talking about where we thought each other would be in ten years. I thought in my head that it was actually a pretty scary thought because in reality, ten years isnt that far away. In less then a year I'll be 20, and in less then two years, I'll be 21 and be able to legally drink. I guess that's exciting... I definitely don't feel that old inside... maybe its because my parents treat me like I'm still 15... anyways...
We began to gustimate how much time I have if I wanted to get married before I was thirty... I told you that the earliest age I wanted to marry was 26. Why 26? It's not just an arbitrary number. Its actually roughly the average age to marry because the chances of your marriage actually lasting go WAY up. You said you'd want at least one more kid by that time and we laughed over some joke having to do with condoms like we were little junior high boys.
We kept talking and then you got this weird look on your face and told me that you thought you had to pee. We got up to go to the bathroom and you looked at me funny and exclaimed that you couldn't stop peeing.
"What? What, its not like your water just broke..." I trailed off. My mind suddenly seemed to slow down, like my old Mac computer that types the words on the screen a second after you type the characters... "oh SHIT," I breathed in, "This is forreals... what do we do? Uhmmmmm, I can't drive you... I can't drive-should you call Mike? Call Mike! I can get a ride home, just go home... Ohmigosh, Emily, CRAZY SHIT HAPPENS WHEN WE HANG OUT... WHY DOES CRAZY SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN WE HANG OUT????????? Should I call an ambulance? Can you drive? Maybe we should wait for Mike? Ohmigosh, Emily. This is happening. And I'm here. And..." We burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation.
"This is so embarassing, I look like I peed in my pants," You say exclaim with exasperation. "How crazy is this, that you're experiencing the few times that my water will ever break in my life? Like, really, Dana, HOW crazy IS that?"
I laugh nervously, thinking to myself that you have way bigger issues to deal with then it looking like you peed in your pants. You're going to be in labor in less then 48 hours, is what I'm thinking. I'm freaking out inside praying hard that you don't start having contractions as you drive home. Because that's what you've decided to do, DRIVE HOME right after your water broke. You're like, set on it. And I am NOT about to argue with a pregnant lady going into labor because I figure I'd probably lose anyways.
We hop into your car as fast as possible and we keep repeating ourselves, talking about how insane it is that everything happened the way that it turned out. You drop me off at home and I watch you zoom off into the night back to your house where you will pack your bag and Mike will drive you off to the hospital. I wait about 20 minutes before I call your house and talk to your dad. I'm glad relieved to find out that you got home safely and pray for safe delivery.
:) Congrats Emily and Mike, and hello Lana. We have similar names and you got some pretty sic parents and people who love you lots.
| | |
| So... as you can plainly see....I havent been posting my QTs on my xanga... but I have been doing them pretty regularly, which is I think what matters most in the end. I've been reading through the book of Acts and I'm almost done. yay!
I think one out of several things that stuck out to me the most was the early church's close fellowship and conntinual prayer for and with each other. I also think its cool how they have this reallly tiiiiight relationship with the Holy Spirit. I mean... maybe its because I just havent looked extensively into the actual history of the book of Acts or studied heavy theology, but from my QTs it appears to me that the early church had a special realationship with God through the Holy Spirit. Like, theres this one time where one of the disciples is sharing the gospel with this guy from Ethiopia and after the guy decides that he is going to believe in the resurection of Christ, the Holy Spirit comes and whisks the disciple away from the Ethiopian dude while he's praying. And in my mind, I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. like, the Holy Spirit TRANSPORTED HIM?? WHATTT?????? like....The Holy Spirit used Harry-Potter-like flo powder to ZAP him from one place to the next??? you know? Reading things like that just make me realize how much I fail to comprehend what and who God really is... you know? Like, His full capacity to do things... its insanely difficult to wrap my mind around.
As for LTC, the whole week was really challenging. But it was challenging in a good way. In a very, I'm-going-to-push-you-to-your-limit-of-comfort-so-that-you-will-grow sort of way. Or at least, thats what I felt like God did that weekend. My leadership team had some really intensely good campus times. Campus times were basically a period of time that was set aside for us after the end of the message so that we could debrief what we had learned or what God had been placing on our hearts that day. It allowed us to bond with each other as a leadership team, which I think is something that is important to do before going into a year of serving together.
So, if you have been reading my previous posts or have talked to me in the past few months, one of my complaints/prayer requests for my fellowship was that we could become more loving and transparent with each other. I feel like transparency within the body of Christ is very important thing to have because it allows each individual to experience God's grace. It also helps believers keep eachother accountable to the struggles that we all deal with at one point or another. And it reminds you that youre not alone in fighting the on-going war against sin. I think one of the things that I saw at camp that week was A LOT of unexpected love and transparency between the people I encountered. It was amazing to say the least. And with that regard, I felt like God challenged me to be completely transparent with my leadership team about the struggles that I had gone through in the past and am currently going through. It was really difficult for me to be that transparent, believe it or not, but I felt like God was calling me to it... Like, He was challenging me to initiate the change that I have been convicted needs to happen in order for us to better serve Him as a fellowship and more generally as believers. There was a part of me that was scared out of my mind at the thought of ever being that transparent with anyone, let alone my leadership team who I am serving with next year. I expected to get rejected or become ostracized for the things that I told them. But God (like He ALWAYS does) surprised me with how loving and supportive my team members were when I came out and said it. It wasnt (just so that I can clarify) like they accepted that I struggled with certian things, but more that they were willing to walk with me through my struggle... they were willing to keep me accountable and to help me through this. I think in that way I was able to experience God's abundant grace and love.
Its been two weeks now, after camp and its been difficult to continue to struggle with the things that I do. But something is different. Because when I feel temptation or when I am struggling with something, I know that I have people that I can email/talk on the phone with...etc that will help me get through it. Through this, God has demostrated the beauty of fellowship to me.
God is GOOOD.
| | |
| I was reading over my friend's xanga. And he came up with this brilliant idea for how to keep himself accountable to doing his QT's and I think I am going to do the same. So, his idea was basically that he was going to post his daily QT time on Xanga, just to keep himself in check to make sure that he does them and so that people who keep up with his xanga will be able to help keep him in check. I am going to attempt at doing the same thing. For the whole summer. we'll see how well this works. Next week though, I wont be able to post anything online because I'm going to be at AACF LTC, but starting the week after that, I think I will start doing it. yayyy. okay.
goodnight. i think i will post a reflection soon. byyye.
| | |
| I am sitting in my dormroom at my laptop eating chocolate cake at 2:30 in the morning when I should be asleep because my roommate will undoubtedly wake me up, not on purpose, but by default because she is not good at being quiet when she moves around the room. Neither am I though, so I really shouldn't talk. Whatever.
I can't believe that my first year of college is almost done. I never really listened when people would say that college goes by fast, but now I think I have a better understanding of what they mean. It starts off fast, gets slower as the year progresses, and then speeds up again towards the end. I don't really feel like I've gotten closer on some things yet, but I guess that's okay because its not like I'm leaving for good or anything.
I think the most profound thing that I learned this year was my expanded definition of what love is, in relation to God I mean. Going into college, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it was. I really honestly thought I knew. But my experiences this year along with the many long night conversations that I've had with some people who I've come to cherish have helped expand my idea of what love really is. I have one friend, who I will keep nameless who defined it like this: Love is the reaction to the truth, its greater then just pure emotion because emotion is the way in which we react to the truth. It's like if I threw hot soup in your face, you could either choose to get mad or choose to stay normal. But, chances are that you wouldn't really be able to choose to respond to what I did, you would just get angry. Realizing the truth about God causes you to love.
My favorite books in the bible currently are John and First John. Because its filled with symbolism and light and dark imagery and it talks about love. And I love that. hahaha. okay, its really late, so I think I should probably go to sleep so that I can study hard tm.
byyyyeeeee.
| | |
|
